“…. things are very topsy-turvy at the office.”

Indecisive, adj: (of a person) not having or showing the ability to make decisions quickly and effectively

If you’ve followed my blog over the past two years or so I’ve touched upon various work related issues and changes. It’s been a tumultuous two years at my current employer, to say the least. It started in May 2018 when my former boss, who was beloved to our department, who hired me, who coached and mentored me for 6 years, was abruptly laid off during a mass layoff. Since then I’ve had four different bosses (including my current boss.) Most of our Tech/IT Department has been outsourced to India. Layoffs in Marketing. When I was on my maternity leave last summer it was announced most of Finance was also being laid off and outsourced to India – only managers were being “retained” or “not impacted” so there is one person at corporate office from each subarea but all the workers are in India. My entire team was laid off and has been transitioned or is in the process of being transitioned to “offshore,” and calling the whole knowledge transfer and training process a shitshow is being kind. It SUCKS and there is too much to even get into, it would take me hours to write about all the screw ups, false starts and mismanagement by the project managers. There’s been massive turnover at all levels,  including people who are “retained”, because nobody wants to be last man standing holding the bag for all the work that’s being screwed up or not done that’s piling up. Nobody wants to be under the pile. Turnover at the C-suite level too- three CFO’s in the past two years. No stability, no consistency. Just a hot mess and every day there is a new drama. I’d talk about the most recent drama of the past two weeks but doing so might give too much of my anonymity away. The Glassdoor reviews are HARSH, and mostly TRUE!

So, while I haven’t been exactly HAPPY and I’ve been aggravated more often than not at work, there are benefits. Such as five weeks vacation, 18 minute commute, and flexibility   – my current boss has no clue who is coming or going and as long as you can answer his questions and the work gets done I just don’t think he cares. They’ve lost so many people that they basically let people  do whatever they want to keep them. Work from home two days a week? OK. Come in late, leave early? Whatever. I am honest and get the work done either way but the flexibility has been…. nice. Especially with a three year old and an infant. And not what I’ve had in the past. My salary is okay, I was much happier with it BEFORE all this bullshit and I’m definitely getting to the point where I want more money if they want me to deal with the crap that’s going on. Having to apologize for people in India, when I had no choice in selecting them and no choice in this whole business model, is definitely irksome and I’ve been biting my tongue and doing it but it’s frustrating. Also, the organization is so flat now that there’s no clear growth path or opportunity for me look forward.

However back in September my old boss contacted me about a job she had open at her new place of employment. It was a step down in title, which I wasn’t thrilled about but justified it by saying that I have MORE responsibility and stress at home with two kids now so perhaps having LESS responsibility and stress at work would be okay. It’s a longer commute – more than double the commute I have now which is probably my biggest concern and what I consider the biggest drawback. But I went in an interviewed with the Treasurer and one of the other Directors. About a week after that their HR people called me and told me the job was being put on hold, they didn’t say it outright but it was a hiring freeze. They’d get back to mea after the new year. Fine.

In the meantime I’d been toiling away on this India transition and now this feels like my new normal. My old boss contacts me last week an the job is open again. But the title changed to a step up, so it’s the same exact title as I have now. No step down. I mentioned my concerns about the longer commute, getting home later so less time with my kids, etc. and she tells me I can leave early every day if I want. Ok. But if I’m interested I need to reapply again and go through the process, they still have to post it for two weeks per their company policy. Ok.

I can’t figure out why am I not jumping up and down and thrilled for a very good opportunity to get out of the shitshow I’ve been in for so long? I feel very wishy washy about this. I’m not thrilled about the longer commute. There’s no official offer on the table yet although she said I was their top choice in the fall and given our past history together – the job is basically mine if I want it. Obviously I need to have an offer in hand to fully weigh this out – if the money is way off from what I’m getting now then that’s a problem. I also told them in the fall I don’t want to go back to two weeks vacation and that won’t work for me – they said they could “work with me” on it, typical HR response. 

Pros of potential new job: out of the drama and instablility (hopefully this new place isn’t as tumultuous), no India outsourcing for IT, no managing a team in India, a boss I know and like that can teach me new things, room for growth when my old boss retires, hopefully a company that has more respect for employees and understands that perks does not equal culture, fresh start, it’s not in the city and a lot of open jobs right now are in the city, I won’t have an opportunity to walk into a new job knowing the boss and her style, and her knowing me and my capabilities, in any other opportunity that presents itself in the future should I decide not to take this

Cons of potential new job: longer commute (more than double), less flexibility, less vacation (probably), have to make new friends (this sounds ridiculous but I really don’t feel like having to put myself out there like that to have to be an extrovert and make new friends), further away from the kids and our life (doctors, dentists, schools) during the day, having to learn new systems and new processes, walking into unknown situation – all companies have their problems, what if the problems there are worse and the grass isn’t greener – I just don’t know

Unknown: salary, benefits cost (I carry the benefits for our family, The Husband works for his family business and the benefits cost is crazy and the benefits aren’t very good)

I do not think I can justify accepting a position at a company with a longer commute, less money and less vacation. The longer commute is a given. So then it comes down to money and vacation time, and a promise that I can have SOME flexibility.

I am really just torn. If I didn’t have two young kids I probably wouldn’t care so much about the commute, being further away and flexibility. But I do.


I keep looking for signs. Either I’m not getting any or I’m missing them.



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8 Responses to “…. things are very topsy-turvy at the office.”

  1. Maybe your unsure because you don’t have the offer in hand yet?? I’m a firm believer in always applying for jobs to see what else is out there. Once you know your options, then you can evaluate them more fairly. And something tells me you’ll know what you want, once you can compare what you have now with the details of a new offer. Wishing you the best whatever you decide! (Also, I loved seeing your post today).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. lyra211 says:

    Yeah, I agree with MPB — why agonize over it when you don’t even know what “it” is yet? Get the offer in hand, get all the information about salary and vacation, and THEN agonize! Lovely to hear from you, either way!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks my dear! I hope you and your littles are doing well. I received the offer Wednesday and accepted Friday. I think the agony was just my mind’s way of preparing me for what I knew was inevitable. I am ready for a fresh start and new chapter in my career and have slept really well since accepting!


      • lyra211 says:

        Wonderful news! Congratulations!!! I also do the same sort of agonizing before any sort of major life decision — I do think it serves a purpose, even if it’s not pleasant. Wishing you all the best at your new gig!


  3. Mamalife says:

    If I could speak from personal experience – I quit a similar job 2 years ago(8 min commute, I chose my hours, amazing pay etc), because I was not happy with the place, Teams across continents I had to manage and the awful stress.

    I moved jobs to everything lower and I now travel 1 hour one way!

    Am I happy? With the job yes – work life balance etc all suck. I am always racing and I maintain a v strict time table even with the kids, else life is impossible.

    But and then the bigges but, I sleep peacefully at night and work without negative feelings.

    Weigh your options – first get the job and the pay etc, and more realistically ( lol) , if you are unsure how you feel, flip a coin. If you are hapy at the ourcome, you know what you want – if you are sad, you know wht you dont! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Nara says:

    I think you don’t realise how much a negative work situation weighs on you until you get out of it. My last job was like that and I took a risk leaving as it was a prestigious firm and I was leaving for one less well known here. But the money was good and I took a chance. (And I even started pregnant but that’s another story!) I lost out on benefits I would have got – a year maternity leave for one! But it was worth it to escape that den of vipers. And looking back I stand by it. I now work in a team I like, for bosses I like, more interesting work, and I started off by defining my boundaries (eg I do nursery pickup most days). It is a million times better. Even with a longer commute some days. It was worth it.

    I get why you’d feel undecided as they seem like they’ve messed you around. But I’d encourage you to have a non committal chat and see how you feel. And I’d also encourage you to look at what else is out there. This proposed job may not be for you but your work doesn’t sound fun and for that reason you should prioritise yourself and look at other options!

    Liked by 1 person

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