Hello from thirty weeks along. RBG’s due date is just about two months away.
I am so. far. behind. compared to where I was with preparations during McLovin’s pregnancy. There nursery is not painted – I haven’t picked a color. I’ve picked a general color scheme (gray, blush pink and teal) – but the walls are still full of squares of different colors as I try and decide between the samples. Maybe because the room is a mess and full of boxes and I don’t even want to be in there right now. This has been a problem for me – no motivation to get these things done. I had some time off earlier this week I decided to clean out my OWN closet and post items on PoshMark rather than do the important things, like start cleaning the swing and bouncer and pack n’ play in anticipation of RBG’s arrival. I seem to have some sort of mental block about making nursery decisions, yet I feel immense pressure to get it done and am starting to get anxious it won’t get done before she’s here. And The Husband is anxious for me to make decisions so he can get the painting done. The more he asks me about it the more annoyed with myself I get and want to just avoid the conversation. It’s a weird cycle.
RBG is doing well. At our last growth scan everything looked great, and our next scan is next week. We start biophysical profiles with MFM every other week from 30-36 weeks, then weekly from 36 on. Also weekly non stress tests at that point but with my OB. So lots of appointments coming up and through the duration. It sounds daunting and like a LOT, but after our three losses I’d rather have those touchpoint with our care team and have the monitoring. I failed my one hour glucose test but passed the three hour test, so that was excellent news. Talk about a long freaking morning though. By the time I got out I booked it to Burger King because it’s right near my doctor’s office and I was STARVING after fasting. I was able to bring my laptop and work though since the office has free wifi. So I wasn’t bored, but I was HANGRY. In general I feel less tired since starting the iron supplement, but I still do enjoy my sleep.
So things are cruising along. McLovin is keeping me busy and that might be part of why I can’t focus to get anything done in the nursery. He is also starting to come around in that when we talk about a “baby sister” he at least doesn’t shout “NO!” and now he will point at my belly and say “Hi sister.” We have not decided on a name yet – McLovin didn’t have his name until two days after he was born, because I was also indecisive then too, and I feel as though we are headed in that direction again. I have a list I’m keeping and I know my top three but The Husband and I aren’t necessarily eye to eye on the top three yet.
Thank you to everyone who left a comment on my last post related to my work situation and issues. For the time being I’ve decided to stick it out and see what happens for now, and if by the time I go out on leave I feel as though I need a change then I will start looking, but am going to stay with an open mind for now and see where the chips fall. I still don’t have a permanent boss, and I do worry that one will be hired while I am out on leave and I won’t be there to advocate for myself or my team when she/he starts. And then I get carried away thinking they will want to make sweeping changes that will impact my team and our work and I won’t be there, and everyone else will get to build a good relationship with this person from the get go and I won’t because I’ll be on leave, etc. etc. I am probably overthinking, but I have change fatigue after everything that’s gone on there the past year. I wouldn’t put anything past the place right now, from outsourcing parts of finance to more layoffs to restructuring responsibilities and changing job functions etc. etc. But I can’t control any of that, and I do need a job and benefits right now and technically I’m the “breadwinner” so to speak, so I’m putting my best foot forward and rolling with it and not making any big decisions right now.
I guess that’s the update from here. RBG is good, I am good, McLovin is good, The Husband is anxious to finish things up, status quo at work, and the weather broke so we are enjoying much more fun outdoor time. I hope all my blog friends are well and enjoying early spring and all it has to offer.