Life Lately

Life Lately:

  • Still on the house hunt. We’ve been to several open houses, several private showings. We put an offer in on a house, but unfortunately our offer was rejected (although it was highest) because we had the contingency of selling our current house. As it happens my mother and step-father were thinking of selling and downsizing, as they don’t require 2+ acres of land, a pool and three bedrooms any longer. It’s in our hometown and we’ve always wanted to move back there, so it is looking like we are going to be buying that house, the house I grew up in. Still working out the details.
  • My boss has asked me about going on my first trip post-maternity leave. It’s clear across the country and I’d be gone four nights. I knew the this would happen eventually, but still my stomach dropped and I felt a sense of panic when she first brought it up. She made it clear that, it is not required and she understands I have obligations at home now, but she wanted to give me the opportunity to travel and network at this trade event especially because it’s a fun location. I want to go, because although I hate flying I do enjoy traveling and visiting new places. But now I have McLovin and the thought of leaving him makes me want to cry. We are still breastfeeding. He is still waking once a night. I am still pumping. I know all of these things can be managed, and The Husband would do fine caring for him, and we’d still have our daytime caregivers to help, etc. etc. But I so enjoy breastfeeding and I don’t want him to suddenly wean and never nurse again because I am not there, or have my supply drop or something because I am away. Obviously I would still have to pump, and again I know it’s totally do-able and there are plenty of websites that have great advice on this sort of thing, but I still worry. And just being away, and not being able to hold him or hug him every day. I know sooner or later the time will come where we will be apart, whether a sleepover at his grandmother’s or at a friend’s or work travel or leisure travel, and I will have to deal with it eventually. Is it better to do it now while he’s still young-ish or wait until he’s a bit older? I don’t know. I will supposed to do this same trip back in October 2014, and even had it booked – but then I went through my second pregnancy loss/D&E, went out on medical leave for two weeks after because I wasn’t ready to return to work, and when I came back my boss gave me the out – saying I didn’t have to go if I wasn’t ready after my procedure (she didn’t know what I was even pregnant or what happened, I just told her it was a “medical situation”). I took the out and cancelled the trip then. Last year I couldn’t go because my doctor didn’t want me to travel so late in my pregnancy (I was 34 weeks at the time.) So now this is my third crack at it and I kind of feel like I should go, and I would have already said yes if not for McLovin.
  • The Husband leaves for his destination wedding this weekend. McLovin and I are staying home. There has been all sorts of additional drama, from being told that he would be sharing a room with other groomsmen to then being told the bride’s family didn’t reserve enough rooms and The Husband was on his own (he’s not even staying at the same hotel as everyone else now), to not being given the correct itinerary for when the events were taking place, to being told he’d have a free day to golf and now he wont and ridiculously expensive suit and shoes to purchase. Oh yeah, and his aunt has evidently been butting heads with the bride and doesn’t approve of their first dance song. I am just sick of hearing about it and ready for it to be over!! I will say I feel less bothered by it now then I did last year, but I still feel bad for The Husband that he was dragged in to all of this and doesn’t like to say “No.” I am not looking forward to having one less set of hands to help me at night but we’ll manage.
  • Currently reading: Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids. How do I get any reading done? While I’m pumping at work or during McLovin’s morning nap on my days off.
  • We went on our Martha’s Vineyard vacation last month. So fun. We did it all with McLovin – visited the alpacas, The Flying Horses Carousel, the beach, ate lunch on the porch at the Chilmark Store, visited Menemsha, Nancy’s, Donovan’s Reef sans Donovan (sad face!), Back Door Donuts, Gay Head Cliffs, shopped (a lot), and visited our stone at the Children’s Memorial at the Edgartown Lighthouse. That last activity was very bittersweet. McLovin is obviously too young to understand, but I talked to him about it and what it means to us, and how we don’t have a site where our babies are buried but we consider the Lighthouse to be that place where we can go to “visit them”, so to speak. We had a blast and have already booked our rental for next year!


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16 Responses to Life Lately

  1. lyra211 says:

    I don’t know what sort of demands your job would place on you, but… is it an option to bring McLovin’ on your trip? With one of his caregivers or another family member along to help take care of him? I may be unusual, but even though I’m in a pretty travel-heavy profession I didn’t travel without S until he was over a year old, and even then only went for one night, and I was really glad I did it that way — I never had to worry about our nursing relationship or issues with pumping (I am prone to clogged ducts). I’ve been really lucky that the way things worked out I’ve been able to avoid leaving him for multiple nights in a row so far (I’ve either said no to travel or brought him with me), and it looks like I’ll be able to keep up that streak until he’s almost 2. If you can’t, one option to help you keep nursing going is Milk Stork — I know women who have convinced their work to pay for the cost, since it can be pricey. Also, even if you have to leave him, McLovin’ will do great, and it’s good for his relationship with Dad to have one-on-one time. I hope you can figure out a solution that you’re happy with!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dani says:

      I was going to mention milk stork! And FedEx too offer a service for Breastmilk courier that’s a bit cheaper than Milk Stork.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Well, I did think of that – but my husband is unable to go because he’s pretty much out of vacation time after this destination wedding situation, and I don’t really want to have to pay for someone else to go and take care of McLovin. And I’m not sure I want to bring him home on the red eye – I’ll be flying literally coast to coast. The thought of bringing him actually stresses me out more than the thought of leaving him home and pumping, if that makes any sense. I thought it would be the opposite! But I’m looking in to Milk Stork or FedEx. I’m trying to see if I can get it reimbursed as a travel expense – actually sent out a follow up email about it today!


  2. I’ve travelled for work overnight and insanely long days that mean I don’t see little MPB for multiple days in a row. I hate the trips because I hate being gone so much. But I’ve also started to find them somewhat refreshing if no reason other then getting a few nights of really good sleep. It’s definitely a hard transition and I wish you the best with your first trip away whenever it may be.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dani says:

    Travel sucks! But it’s good for a couple of nights quality sleep! I’ve got several transatlantic trips coming up and I’m not looking forward to it! I’m trying to figure out if I can stop pumping at work and just breastfeed morning, night and weekends. But I’m afraid theres a chance it might kill my supply! Anyway, I digress….work travel for a breastfeeding mom really sucks!
    Good luck with your house buying/selling!!
    I don’t know what it is about destination weddings but there is always drama in my experience!!! We went to one and stayed in a different hotel and ended up paying $100 each just to get into the hotel for the wedding day!!! And then there is all the drunken dramas…mixed with sun sand and heat!!! 😝

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I really feel your struggle and know you’ll do what feels best to you but just wanted to say he will not wean over 4 days at this time. He loves that cuddle time as much as you! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  5. jwhitworth7 says:

    Gosh I know the work trip is bitter sweet. I can totally understand why you are nervous about leaving. I do think that once you do it it will make future trips like this easier. I was thinking the same thing as Lyra…. can he go with you? Also I’m sorry to hear about the wedding issues. That’s really not cool. Good luck with the house search!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve thought of bringing him but I’m not keen on the 6 hour flight or red eye on the way home. I’m just not sure he will do well, and if it isn’t necessary to bring him on such a long flight cross country I don’t really want to… but I did consider it. I’m thinking he will be almost a year, and it may be better to do it now for the first time rather than when he’s 2 or 3 and can make more sense out of it. I dunno. It’s hard and I am going to miss him terribly.


  6. Admittedly SB was much older (2.5 years) when I finally took my first trip without her, and I didn’t pump and in fact wanted to wean – but once I was back, she latched right on again and got supply up within days.
    As others have suggested, might also be worth looking into bringing him along. Though that will likely eliminate the relaxing aspect of the trip 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha. Truth be told, I am looking forward to dropping some of the “Mommy Duties” for a few nights – washing dishes, cleaning toys, preparing bottles. And perhaps getting a good night’s rest! I am just going to miss him so much thought.

      Liked by 1 person

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