March 24, 2016


Today I took a FRER during my lunch break (I drove home so I had some privacy, not in the work bathroom stall!) and it came back positive. That second line came in rather quickly, actually – maybe 30 seconds and BAM! Two lines. I felt very strongly today that I needed to take the test. My cycles had been averaging 29 days, although two went up to 35 days, and today is day 32. I had an appointment booked at my favorite spa for a massage on Saturday morning, and didn’t feel I should get a massage if I am indeed pregnant. Which I am, so I cancelled the appointment.

At first I was in shock – this was our first month “trying” and, really, we did not have THAT much sex. I didn’t use an OPK, I didn’t temp – nothing. I was trying to be really laissez-faire this time around and I thought for sure it would take us longer than this – last time it took five months.

Then, I felt hopeful. I have been given another chance. Another chance to have a healthy baby and a mother to a living child. Maybe, maybe, maybe this child will be healthy and I’ll be coming home from the hospital in late November with a living, breathing child. Maybe the DNA will be okay – if we are both carriers of something, whatever it is, there is a 75% chance that this baby will survive. Maybe the egg and sperm were okay and the DNA is okay and this could be it.

It is still my birthday month. Maybe this was a gift from my grandfather and my three babies. If this baby is healthy and survives it will be the best birthday present I’ve ever received.

Please, please, please – please be healthy. Please survive. I love you already and I really want to meet you.

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12 Responses to March 24, 2016

  1. Loved reading this one 💙

    Liked by 1 person

  2. myhopejar says:

    Love this so much! 💗

    Liked by 1 person

  3. jwhitworth7 says:

    I have chills reading this.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. RJ says:

    This is so wonderful to read. I can really feel your emotions.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. jivf says:

    Reading these while knowing the ending gives them so much more meaning and impact.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Sorry, accidentally hit post. It’s just amazing to look back on this. I was a couple weeks ahead of you and we were going through the same. I love that you kept this record. I think I told you then but I had this feeling you were pregnant. I do not know why but I did. I also knew your baby was healthy. I am not spiritual. I am an agnostic but I just knew. So glad it is so.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. lyra211 says:

    McLovin’ has been loved from the very start. This is so beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. sbach1222 says:

    So great to hear this wonderful update!!

    Liked by 1 person

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