I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words, how wonderful life is while you’re in the world

My little McLovin is two months old tomorrow. I can’t believe it has already been two months! It’s been the shortest, most trying, most amazing two months.

I feel like we just brought him home. But, he is growing and changing all the time. When he first started growing out of his newborn sized clothes I felt nostalgic; already? Isn’t he still a newborn baby? I suppose it’s exactly as they say, he will always be a baby to me.

As fun as it is to see him become more alert and aware, it also makes my heart ache when I see the photos from the hospital and when we first brought him home. So tiny in his swaddle; just a little babe who slept all the time and didn’t move much. Holding him all the time, he looked like a little doll. Now he has his social smile, and he’s found his hand and I’ve caught him sucking his thumb occasionally. He loves his rainforest gym, and I enjoy each morning putting him there after I’ve fed him and he’s alert, and I grab myself a yogurt and some fruit and watch him kick and move and stare at the lights. We are still co-sleeping in our bedroom, with him in his Halo Bassinest. I love having him so close to us. Last night I heard him rustling around and making some grunts, so I sat up to lean over and check on him and was greeted by a smile when he saw my face. I love his smile, but not at midnight when he’s supposed to be sleeping! One thing that has happened occasionally is that I startle myself awake in the middle of the night thinking I fell asleep with him in my arms and now he got squished in bed with us. I think it’s the weight of the dog, as she sleeps on the bed and usually is right up against me, that makes me think it is the baby in the bed. Which is strange as she’s about 75 lbs. and obviously much larger than McLovin. But it’s happened more than once that I think I fell asleep rocking/holding him and that somehow we killed him. It hasn’t been so bad lately though.

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With an appearance by the cat.

We are still exclusively breastfeeding and I’ve also been pumping so I can start my stash for when I return to work in February. For Christmas my mother even got me this Sarah Wells breast pump bag for when I return to work, as I got only the basic pump without a tote/bag through my insurance so I needed something to carry the pump and supplies back and forth. I also got these Freemie cups. I know I am “lucky,” for maternity leave in this country anyway, in that I’m taking 14 weeks off, 10 of those are paid 100% of my salary. I know many people get much less time, and much less money. But it still feels like it’s not long enough. We’re already making arrangements for child care for when I return and thus far we have four out of five days covered by family. My mother in law, who retired young and no longer works, has offered to watch him two days. My mother works four days a week and is going to watch him on her day off. And one of our aunts, who works part time, has offered one day a week as well. So now we have one day to cover. Part of me wants to ask my boss if I can work one day a week from home going forward; another part of me wants to ask if I can flex my schedule to four long days with one day off instead of five days. But working 7 to 5 seems like a very long day for me, perhaps not so bad in the summer when the days are longer but during the winter that just seems terrible. I like the idea of having a day off but I feel as though I might just be exhausted once I get home. I am glad that, at least for the time being, he will be with family. But my MIL is being difficult (naturally) and wants to watch him at her house rather than come to ours; my mother and the aunt have agreed to come to ours. It’s just irritating because she has NOTHING for him there – no diapers, no swing, no pack ‘n play, no bouncer. Nothing. Are we to buy duplicates to keep there? Are we to bring those items back and forth? I just wish she would come to our house – all of his stuff is here, he is comfortable here, and I work close enough so that I could come home at lunch if I wanted to see him and maybe get in a feeding. Not every day, as I think lunch breaks will now  be my work out breaks, but from time to time. She lives only 15 minutes away so it’s not a big deal to bring him there, but it’s also not a big deal for her to drive here either. Of course she is the most difficult of the three.

We go to the pedi later this week for his two month visit and vaccinations. I’m nervous about how he will react; I hate when it seems he is in pain. But I am curious to know his weight and length now. It’s obvious he’s grown, I just don’t know how much.

We also got our newborn photos back, and I ordered birth announcements from Shutterfly. Supposedly they shipped out on January 2nd; haven’t arrived yet. They claim they are lost in transit now and are sending out a new order. I was hoping to have them out by now but I guess there is nothing I can do about it.

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My little bear

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Go Patriots

In random happenings, I was able to get my wedding ring and engagement ring on last night as it seemed the swelling had finally subsided; today I can’t get my engagement ring off. I don’t know what caused my fingers to swell up again in less than 24 hours, but they did and it is really irritating me. It isn’t irritating me in a painful way, my finger doesn’t hurt at all with the rings on, it’s just irritating knowing they are on my finger and I can’t get them off. I’ve tried using oil, I’ve tried putting an icepack on that hand for ten minutes. I haven’t tried the floss yet, but I can’t see how I will get floss under the ring given how tight it is. Sigh.

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18 Responses to I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words, how wonderful life is while you’re in the world

  1. Those are great photos!
    14 weeks is obscene. I don’t get much more salary top up than you but by law can’t be forced back to work or fired. Gah.
    The night anxiety – normal but if it increases please considering talking to someone about post partum anxiety. I found it awful after baby As birth.
    As for the MIL, I’m sorry. I wish I had parents or in laws around to offer any support. But conditional support is lame too. I wouldn’t buy her gadgets and instead passively aggressively convince her how much easier it would be to come to your place. I think working 7-5 would be really hard on you. I work longer than that but the first few hours are at home with kids or at least one of them asleep and that’s hard. Very hard. I am exhausted constantly (and bitter, which is much worse). I so hope you can find a balance and care that works for you and McLovin.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I can’t imagine working longer than 7-5, you are a trooper for doing that! And, I hear you in the passive aggressive – but at this point the husband is handling all communications with her. He agrees with me but is much more diplomatic when speaking with her. So we will see what happens. I am sure it will all work out but I just wish she wasn’t so difficult! I will just be thankful for the free child care and try to get over it.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. RJ says:

    Sooo cute!!!!! It’s crazy how fast they grow. Be ready to breastfeed after the shots, it calmed my baby down right away. And she was pretty fussy the next day but one dose of Tylenol fixed that right up.

    I have 18 weeks off but I’m going back at 16 weeks to save two weeks for later. It’s really too bad that we don’t get more time. I think 6 months would be ideal. But of course I’m thankful to have as much time as I got (1 week left..boo).

    Glad you have family to help out, even if it’s a bit of a pain with your MIL.

    Liked by 1 person

    • He did well with the shots, as well as could be expected. He cried pretty bad which broke me heart but we did nurse him after and once we got in the car he fell asleep and was pretty drowsy the entire day/night.
      And I agree, six months would be great! I wish lawmakers in this country agreed too!

      Like

  3. Gah! Tell MIL you’ll find someone who is willing to come to your home (chances are she will backpedal and agree to your terms).

    But honestly, babies need consistency. She is being selfish and putting her *want* (to be on her own turf) above your baby’s *need* to be in the comfort of his own surroundings. She thinks she knows best and she’ll do everything HER way and f*ck up your baby’s routine.

    If you can pay for professional childcare that is up to code on best practices (especially concerning infants), and who respects and follows your wishes, you’ll be much better off in the long run. But I get it, it’s hard to trust a person you don’t really know and it’s expensive. But it’s really hard to fire your family, especially when they are doing you a “favor”. XOXO

    Liked by 1 person

    • We could afford daycare, but it would be tight, and we really want him home until he is one. But you’re right, I do feel anxious leaving him with family, never mind people we hardly know! Eventually we want him in daycare but he just seems do young for it right now.
      My husband agrees that he should be home and plans to have another talk with her, so hopefully she comes around!!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I just had an awful nightmare about baby too, and I worry so much at night. Especially since he is giving us a hard time about sleeping on a flat surface and just wants to be held. We are running on no sleep! Lol.
    I also get sad looking at those hospital pics, just in awe of how time is flying by. Its crazy.
    Just ordered birth announcements off Shutterfly, sure hope they dont lose them. That sucks!

    Liked by 1 person

    • We did finally get our announcements, they had to reorder them and expedite it but didn’t charge us. They came out nice but wish they hadn’t lost the first time! Grrr…
      I think worrying is natural especially for loss mamas like us. At least we aren’t alone!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. lyra211 says:

    For about the first six months, my husband would wake up in the middle of the night searching under our blankets for the baby. I think it’s normal. I didn’t get it, thankfully (I think I was too dead to the world at any opportunity to sleep), but since I was woken up by my husband scrambling under the covers anyway it didn’t help too much. You will get past it eventually — I think it started to tail off once our little guy moved to his crib in his own bedroom.

    I’m so glad to hear that everything is going so well with McLovin!!! Your MIL sounds like a pain in the butt — I hope your husband has your back and is the main one working on convincing her that it’ll be better for McLovin to be in familiar surroundings. He’ll sleep better, eat better, and just be happier — babies are so routine-oriented. But if she does insist on watching him at her house, it probably won’t take her long to realize that she’s not equipped to take care of a baby, and she might voluntarily start hanging out at your house more! I also agree with saying you’ll find someone who can take care of him at your house (if indeed you would consider it) — you can always be gracious about turning down “such a generous offer,” while letting her know that having him comfortable in your own home is top priority.

    And aren’t those social smiles the best?!?! You’ve got so much more fun coming up. I’m so excited for you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I get sad thinking of him leaving our room! I love having him in his bassinet right next to me lol.
      My husband is handling the communications with her about watching him – he plans on having another talk with her this week because he wants the baby to stay home too! Hopefully she agrees!

      Like

  6. What a beautiful baby! He is so cute!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. ChickinNH says:

    McLovin’s first superbowl ❤ So so happy for you guys. He is such a beautiful babe.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Adorable newborn pics! It’s great to read other’s journey into motherhood! I appreciate it so much, that’s why I write about it too. Cheers!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hey girl, I’m not sure if I ever stopped by to actually comment and give you congrats on your little one, but I’m playing catch up now with all of my bloggers 🙂 I’ve been reading and keeping up with everyone, but slacking in the comment department. He is so precious and looking at him now in his patriots outfit after that awesome super bowl win is pretty neat (I’m a cowboys fan, big time, but that was a great game!) I hope you guys are doing well and enjoying every moment! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much Amber. It’s great to hear from you, I’ve been keeping up with your blog and I hope things are going well now. He is precious, thank you, and it was an awesome game! He loved wearing his Patriots gear to support our hometown team 🙂

      Like

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