Today I am 28 weeks pregnant! It really didn’t hit me until I was in the shower tonight, and I thought to myself – “Wow! I am in the THIRD TRIMESTER.” I almost cannot believe it. I look down at my belly, and feel the kicks, and I know it’s true. But mentally I can’t believe it sometimes. I almost feel like it must be some really vivid, lucid fantasy or dream and I am going to wake up soon.
We had a growth scan last week, and again everything is right on track. Baby Boy is measuring in the 60th percentile, which is exactly where he was four weeks ago too. Fluid levels good, heart rate good, he weighed approximately 2 lbs. 8 oz. and is “Completely average!” – another “No concerns!” from Dr. T. I brought up some of the fears and anxiety I’d been experiencing recently regarding placenta issues or cord issues and Dr. T was able to talk me down and explained some of the science and medicine behind how it works and the materials (for lack of a better word) that they are made of and also explained that, if there is a placenta issue they will catch it because I am going in monthly for the duration – and that if there was an issue right now, he wouldn’t be growing as well or consistently. She also mentioned a book she recommended I read, about infant/child growth and development after birth to turn some of the focus towards what happens after he’s born instead of dwelling in fears before he’s born so I’ve added it to my Amazon list and will be purchasing it with my next order.
I just feel so shocked every time I hear things like completely average, consistent, and no concerns when someone is talking about me and one of my babies. Shocked in a good way, and happy and excited, but shocked nonetheless.
Last weekend I also went on a “Girl’s Weekend” with my friend L. We visited Ogunquit, Maine – both of us have lived in New England our entire lives and neither of us has visited Maine. It was a quick two night getaway, with less action than our New Orleans trip last year (for obvious reasons), but a great time. We ate good food, went to the beach, read by the pool, and shopped. I really liked it and hope to visit again next summer. It seemed dog and kid friendly – lots of families, a cute trolley to ride around town in, and all “major” attractions within reasonable walking distance. The drive to get there was reasonable for us too – about 2 hours and 15 minutes. I think it was a great way to start bidding adieu to summer.
A lot of events are happening soon and September will be busy – my baby shower is this month, we are celebrating our eighth wedding anniversary this month, and one month from now we have our maternity photo session. I try not to get too excited and think too far ahead – one of the drawbacks of recurrent loss and feeling like at any time the rug can be pulled out from under you. I feel like this can be ripped away at any moment. But I am excited to celebrate with our family and friends, and see people I haven’t seen in a while. My mother had tried to keep all the details a secret, but today she caved and spilled some details and now I know when and where it is! I had it narrowed down to three dates, and my suspicions were correct, it was one of those dates. I’ve already purchased my dress for the shower, another PinkBlush Maternity purchase. Because I knew my shower was this month I went for a “Pregnancy Facial” on Saturday and it was wonderful. I think I might like facials more than I like massages. Football season is also back, and I can’t wait to see The Patriots and my favorite player Gronk back in action, although I am not as excited as most years because I am a bitter Patriots fan and I think it is very unfair and ridiculous and egregious that Brady is sitting out this month. #FreeBrady.
For all the good things coming up this month, it is also the month that I lost two of my babies – September 11th will be the second year “anniversary” of losing our second baby, and September 18th is the first year “anniversary” of losing our third baby. I am trying not to dwell on it too much, and to focus on the present and put more positive energy to the future, but it still stings a bit when I remember how low I was the past two years during this month. I still catch myself wondering what may have happened if either of those babies had been well and survived. I am trying not to let these thoughts detract from the good things happening this year, and I think about them every day regardless of the month, but it does make me a little sad.
We did some work during this long holiday weekend in Baby Boy’s room, mostly today as it was a windy, rainy/cloudy day thanks to . I’ve been to Kohl’s and HomeGoods and Bed, Bath and Beyond. Not to mention countless hours looking for nursery decor, bedding, etc. online! I still haven’t found a mirror or hamper I like, and I am still waiting on my replacement nightstand (which annoys me every time I think about it) but I am happy with the way it is coming along. I just wish the nightstand was here so I could get the full effect. Our infant car seat is also here – my MIL and FIL bought it for us, and they dropped it off this weekend so she wouldn’t have to bring it to the shower. Things definitely feel like they are getting a little bit more real this week!