Yesterday we had our 18 week anatomy scan. I am happy to say that, again, everything looked good! It is strange to keep getting good news, when in the past I feel like I’ve ever received bad news. And now, this is the furthest I have made it in any of my pregnancies. I almost don’t know what to do with myself now. I knew the land mines and what to worry about for the past 4 months; now what do I worry about? There has to be something.
Baby is still measuring a week ahead – I was 18w4d yesterday, he measured in at 19w4d. My cervix is still long and closed, at exactly 4 cm. Dr. T said that, because in each of the past two scans my cervix has been on the long end of what she was looking for – she said she was looking for anything between 2.5cm – she doesn’t think my cervix was damaged by any of the D&E’s, particularly the procedure I had at 19 weeks. Heart rate was steady at 155. We saw all of his major anatomy again – fingers, toes, kidneys, stomach, heart, brain, etc. Dr. T said everything looked beautiful and at this point she has no anatomical concerns, but she is going to be seeing me monthly for growth scans. She said that in any other patient, she would not see them or have a scan (unless there was an issue) until about 28 weeks. However, given my history, she wants to see me monthly and I am fine with that. Between my MFM visits and my regular OB visits I’ll continue seeing one of my doctors every two weeks and I think that has been working out well for me with quelling my anxiety and making me feel I’m getting the support I need/want.
I also started feeling movement about two weeks ago – not “flutters” but it feels like bubbles popping against the front of my abdomen. At first it was only occasional, and not very strong, so although I thought it was the baby I also thought it could have been just things stretching and pulling and maybe even gas! But now it’s been more consistent, and stronger, and it’s definitely baby moving. We could also hear him moving at my last OB visit, when we listened on the doppler. We could hear the heartbeat and then random other noises, and when I asked what it was she confirmed it was him moving all around.
I had my first obnoxious comment from a coworker on Thursday. I was walking towards our cafeteria, which is on the first floor and you have to walk past the main entrance to get there. One of the ladies who works in my department, but on another team, was walking in from her lunch break and walking towards me. I saw her looking at me, and then she stopped and waited for me to walk up to her, and with a teasing grin on her face and asked “Have you been eating one too many cookies?!?” And I just kept walking past her and said “Yep! I have a crazy sweet tooth!” And she laughed and stood there but I kept walking. She was clearly expecting a stop and chat, and no way was I going to stop and chat with her after that. She’s a nice woman in general, in her 50’s with grown children of her own, and I can’t imagine she would have said that unless she was thinking I would confirm that I was pregnant. But although I like her, we aren’t so close that I would confide in her and she is also very good friends with one of the ladies I supervise, and I haven’t told my direct reports yet. Also, the lady she is friends with is probably the most difficult, high maintenance of the three I supervise and I don’t feel like letting her know right now. Even though at this point I have a bump, it’s definitely out there and getting harder to hide. Oh well. So yeah, the cookies comment annoyed me and I went immediately to my friend N’s office to tell her about it and she was as outraged as I was. Another question I keep getting, from those in the know, is whether or not we have a name yet. No, we haven’t decided on a name (although we have a few we like), and when we do we aren’t telling people. I don’t want to get stuck with a name – what happens if we see him and think he doesn’t look like that name? And I don’t want to see people’s reactions ahead of time. I am not good at hiding my reactions all the time, and I don’t want to see someone’s face change when I tell them what we’re thinking of; I don’t want to know if they like it or not, I don’t want to hear their ideas, or hear “Have you thought about this?” blah blah blah. My mother has been the worst offender with this question. So much so that I tell her I’m hanging up the phone on her if she even asks again.
So, things are cruising right along for now. My mother has been a busy bee and she’s gone a bit nutty, buying me all kinds of maternity clothes from Kohl’s and Macy’s, not to mention the baby outfits. I told her I am going to take her credit and debit cards away. She’s also gone into high gear with my friend M in planning a baby shower. The thought of a baby shower makes me very uncomfortable; I guess because I keep thinking “What if something bad happens again?” in my head, and I can see how excited she and my mother-in-law are getting. And I know she just wants to make me happy and have a shower that I am going to love, but it’s hard for me to think about themes (I told her adamantly that Baby Boy is enough of a theme in itself and I DO NOT WANT ANY THEMES!!!) and registering and guest lists when some days all I can think of is getting through my next appointment. I am excited too, but more cautiously so. However now it’s starting to feel more real, and more people know (just our close family members and close friends, but that’s more than who knew a month ago) and now that we’re progressing further I feel like I have to start thinking about the nursery and strollers and car seats and things of that nature. There are so many options, and so many sources of information and reviews and safety guidelines, it’s like information overload and then it’s hard for me to make decisions. I’ll figure it out but I might lose a few hairs first.
I hope my Canadian friends had a great Canada Day yesterday! And that my US friends have a great Independence Day on Monday. We are going to watch some fireworks on my mother and stepfather’s boat, and I’m very excited to hit the high seas to watch the fireworks instead of dealing with crowds.