Last week my best friend M and I went out to dinner. She lives about an hour away from me and we met at a restaurant half way between that also has a mini arcade/game room which we indulged in after dinner & drinks. Anyway, she brought up our mutual friend E – well, E and I were always closer than M and E are but we’ve all known each other since high school. E is the friend I wrote about here, here, here and here. I told M that I hadn’t heard from E in months and she only trots me out as a friend at a party or a christening when she wants gifts for her kids. The Husband and I are her token “child free” friends. I said that list bit sarcastically, as I really don’t think it’s just for gifts, but its true that I never hear from her except for those types of events in her life.
I do feel like I need to offer a disclaimer, because in almost all of those posts I linked to I go off on some rant about E or situations involving her. Spoiler alert: this post won’t be the exception to that either. But she’s honestly not a bad person. The problem we have always had is that we are a lot alike and will often butt heads because neither of us will give an inch when we feel justified or that we are in the right. Most of the time it works out fine because we tend to agree often and have similar life philosophies and values, but when we disagree there might be fireworks. Luckily since we are a lot alike neither of us takes it personally when we disagree and have words – I think we both appreciate that we are strong willed, opinionated and we won’t be able to easily sway the other and we can take it in stride. And when I was going through a hard time with my parents divorce she was always 100% supportive and always listened.
Anyway, I haven’t seen or talked to E since her daughter’s birthday party in May. Then I got a text from her over the weekend saying she misses me and wants us to go out for dinner and drinks with her this coming weekend for her birthday. I applaud a good birthday celebration but it’s irritating to me that I don’t hear from her in seven months and now she wants me to go celebrate her birthday. Where have you been the past seven months?!?! I gave up inviting her over when we had get togethers for football games, or inviting her for a beach day, because every time I’d ask she’d say she couldn’t go. So, I just stopped asking. (She’s also the friend who posted this article on Facebook that irritated me). To me it seems like the only time I hear from her is when it’s her birthday or one of her kid’s birthdays. I’m a birthday friend. I realize life is busy with two kids but I have plenty of other friends who make an effort and they have children – like M who has two kids, or my friend L who always makes an effort to hang out with me and as couples with our husbands – L and I even went on a girls weekend and she has two kids. So, even though I don’t see M as much as I want to and she’s had to cancel plans on me in the past, at least she makes an effort. She’ll invite me to the kids event but she also realizes that I’m not very interested or motivated to attend them so she’ll also make an effort to do friends things too. L doesn’t even invite me to her kids events, only our “adult events”.
And, when I told her we already had plans this weekend, she mentioned about wanting to do it sooner rather than later because her friend is ready to pop with her fourth child. That certainly wasn’t going to sway my decision and make me want to cancel the plans I already had. I really don’t care to see that girl or even hear about that girl. I don’t care about her FOURTH pregnancy and the imminent arrival of her daughter. Whom she plans to name Charlotte. I’m sure because of Princess Kate and her daughter,because this girl fancies herself to be royalty. So no, I don’t feel like having to arrange my life around her baby popping schedule. I’m sure I’ll have to hear about it anyway because her sister will be at dinner with us, and at that point I’ll put my best Kanye face on, but I don’t have to like it.
This post probably makes me sound more angry than I truly am. I find the whole situation annoying, but I’m not angry or pissed about it. I find it almost humorous because it is so predictable and indicative of what our relationship has become. And it amuses me that not even a week after laughing about it with M she did it again. Her ears must have been ringing.