Mele Kalikimaka

Last year I wrote about how I wasn’t in the Christmas/holiday spirit. I was sad, angry and bitter and I just didn’t care. We put up zero decorations, didn’t send cards, didn’t even have a tree. After all that had happened earlier in the year I was so over it by the time December rolled around.

This year I have taken almost the opposite approach and I’ve been trying to throw myself into the holiday and immerse myself with all things Christmas. More so than any previous year. Which is kind of odd in a way considering I am an atheist, but whatever. I can still feel festive. Our tree is up, stockings are hung, the fake candles are in the windows, holiday cards are ordered from Shutterfly and should be in next week, shopping is almost done, Christmas music is on the playlist, and holiday movies are on the DVR. I’m even going to a holiday cookie swap later today.

So is it working? I’d say yes in the fact that it’s providing a distraction and keeping me busy. I also feel like I’m not so isolated – last year we were virtually the only house on our street with no decorations. Now I feel more like I belong and not the Debbie Downer of our cul de sac. Seriously, what am I doing to do? I can’t stop the holidays from coming. They come whether you like it or not or are ready or not. I’m not going to seriously pull a Grinch and steal decorations or something.


O Christmas Tree


Centerpiece with fresh cranberries


Clarice and Rudolph



Gingerbread Men


The stockings were hung by the TV with care (while watching The Mistletones)


Cranberry and White Chocolate cookies… delicious!

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11 Responses to Mele Kalikimaka

  1. I love it! I also find it funny that we have switched places this year – last year I threw myself into the Christmas season and this year I’ve only managed to plug in the string of lights that was left hanging from previous years. Honestly, I think your approach to this year might be the better one because your right, like it or not, the holidays are coming.

    Liked by 1 person

    • A little role reversal!I think we should all just do what feels good to each of us – maybe what worked for you last year won’t work this year. We’re all in different mindsets – even though for you and I we are still JUST WAITING!!! So while it doesn’t feel different like were in a different place we’ve all had different experiences throughout the year which play a part…. xxx.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Nara says:

    I love Christmas every year! It’s so fun! I hope you enjoy this one!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. RJ says:

    Your decorations look beautiful. It’s so hard to get into the Christmas spirit, I struggled to decorate but having the decorations and lights up does seem to brighten my mood. It’s such a difficult time of year. You are not alone in those feelings.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! It seems to be brightening my mood too… at least for the time being. It is so difficult right now when you are grieving… you want to be in the spirit but it’s just hard when you don’t feel it inside. xxx.


  4. Have you read “skipping Christmas” by John Grisham? My mom gave it to me the year I studied abroad and didn’t come home for Christmas. I don’t think it contains any triggers on child loss, but it’s been years so I don’t want to guarantee anything…
    Either way, do whatever works for you!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m having a hard time with Xmas too, so I decided not to do the full blown decoration, but not skip it completely either. Somewhere in between. The lights we hanged over the window do cheer me up, though.
    I hope the decorations set your mood and you have a better time this year.

    Liked by 1 person

    • So far so good! My mood seems fairly upbeat. Much better than last year. I hope your lights continue to cheer you up and provide you some peace during the holidays. It’s really tough… just keep taking care of you and doing what feels right. xxx.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: Mele Kalikimaka (Part Deux) | Sweeping Up the Broken Pieces

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