I wrote already about how my Thanksgiving weekend ended on Sunday night in pandemonium. But I didn’t write about the days leading up to that and the weekend in general.
The Husband was battling a vicious cold throughout the holiday weekend, so we didn’t go out for our usual Thanksgiving Eve dinner and drinks with friends. We stayed home, which was more than fine by me – I have turned into an anti-social hermit who doesn’t often enjoy the company of others. Thanksgiving itself was fine. We had dinner at my mother’s house with her, my stepfather, grandmother and brother. And the dogs, of course. My brother was released from rehab last month. Although the commitment could last up to 90 days, due to the sheer number of people being committed virtually none stay 90 days. The opiate epidemic is really taking a toll on the system and numbers have skyrocketed over the past two years. That evening we watched football and, of course as is our tradition, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. My favorite Christmas movie.
I also spent time feeling sad and sorry for myself. I guess it’s true that grief comes in waves, and for the past month or so the waves have been pulling me under. I don’t want to dwell on how bad I was feeling and how often I cried (three times last Sunday alone). I’ve just felt really dark and down in the dumps. I feel like I may be on the upswing now, especially after my acupuncture appointment this past Thursday (I usually feel more stable after acupuncture).
I was exceptionally lazy and unmotivated over the long weekend. I walked the dog every day, but other than that did not exercise. Instead I had a TV/movie marathon. I caught up on my Netflix list and watched an old favorite – Arrested Development. If you have never watched Arrested Development I highly recommend it. It is in my pantheon of favorite comedies along with Seinfeld and Veep. I’m ashamed (or secretly proud?) to admit that I watched the entire series (only three seasons) over the weekend. That’s a lot of late nights and doing not much of anything. But I could watch that show a million more times – every time I watch it I find some new nugget that I didn’t notice before. It’s really an amazing show, if you like that sort of comedy. And it’s only three seasons, so it won’t take THAT long to watch it.
I also watched…. 50 Shades of Grey (UGH, not worth the time and a huge waste in my opinion but I wanted to see what the hype was about), Frozen (yeah, I had never seen it and finally got around to it), The Hunger Games: Catching Fire and Mockingjay Part 1 (yeah, I finally got around to watching those too!).
AND I did some shopping. Online, I am not a big “Let’s go out at midnight or 5AM to get Black Friday deals!” type of person. I do my best damage with a laptop and credit card all from the comfort of my home. I did some Christmas shopping and personal shopping. I got a GREAT deal on Amazon on a gift for my mother, and a great deal at Express on a gift for me! And some great deals at Kohl’s. I’d say I’m about 65% done with shopping now and I spent a very minimal amount of time in actual stores. I did make one trip out on Sunday with my friend and her daughters, but other than that almost all of my holiday shopping has been done online.
So, when I said I didn’t do much of anything productive over the long weekend I mean it. The Husband is out with friends for a guys night this evening, so I took it upon myself to put up our tree (it’s fake.) Last year we didn’t bother putting up a tree, or any decorations, because I was feeling so angry and bitter and sad. Nothing has changed for us but I felt like I really can’t hide or avoid it anymore. The holidays will come whether I like it or not. My babies are gone whether I like it or not. I guess I’m hoping that by immersing myself in the holiday decor I will maybe feel the holiday spirit inside. I guess we’ll see if it works once I’ve finished the decorating.