Day 5 of the Blogging Challenge: My Guilty Pleasure.
Ummm…. it’s totally really bad reality television. I’m talking Kardashians (Scott Disick is my fav on the show.) It is so bad that at times I catch myself calling people “Doll.” Three or four years ago I got pneumonia, and was off work for a week. It happened to coincide with Labor Day weekend, and there was a Kardashian marathon on. I sat on my couch for days on end watching that junk. Funny, that they would show a marathon of that show on LABOR DAY. The irony killed me. Other bad reality shows: My Five Wives. And Sister Wives. And I used to watch The Girls Next Door. I do watch Kendra Wilkinson’s new show. I don’t like the Bachelor or American Idol but I do some Dancing With the Stars.
So yeah, that’s a guilty pleasure of mine.
Now, on to the “Save the Drama For Your Mama.” Because, that’s what I did, sorta. I wrote in this post about my reaction to my cousin A’s pregnancy, and how I did not want to go to my cousin K’s wedding. Well, this week we received the wedding invitation in the mail. My mother called me to ask if I got it and if not attending was my final decision. I told her that yes, my mind was made up, and I wasn’t going. I don’t feel like spending the money and time to travel down south to see my cousins who didn’t even text, call, email or send me a card when my baby died. They didn’t bother with me and I don’t want to bother with them.
This was causing my mother some anxiety because she knew my aunt would be calling her when they received my response and questioning it. So she preemptively called my aunt today to tell her that The Husband and I weren’t going and to expect a “No” response card from us. Then she told my aunt why, and didn’t beat around the bush. She also said that as a mother, my cousin A should have understood how devastating that may have been and put herself in my shoes. And as a nurse, my cousin K should have shown a little bit of compassion and support since she’s a friggin nurse and deals with medical situations, sad situations every day. My aunt called my mother on several occasions to ask about me and how I was doing. My mother told me each time she called. So my feelings aren’t directed to her, and I don’t blame her. She is no more responsible for my cousins’ actions (or inactions as the case may be) than my mother is for my actions. I get that. She didn’t know that my cousins did not reach out to me and apparently was really upset about it, as was my uncle. And my grandmother is upset because she’s all morbid and grandmother-y – “I’ll never have my four grandchildren with me in the same room again until I’m dead and they’re at my funeral”, “My grandchildren don’t even like each other”, “I just want everyone to get along.” Grandmother things. My aunt and my uncle said they understand why I’m upset and understand why I am not going and respect that. I don’t know what my cousins think about it and I’m not sure it matters.
What’s done is done, and there’s nothing really that can be said or done right now to fix things. I don’t want any apologies.
I’ve also had a really aggravating couple of days at work, and had some really awful, terrible cramps this week. So bad that I had to leave work early one day because I felt like I was going to keel over and/or throw up. I had an acupuncture appointment this evening with J, and she thinks that the stress and the grief that accompanies my special time of month probably made the cramps all the more worse this week. Because this is a bad month for me I am going to see her again in two weeks rather than just the monthly maintenance appointment. I’d rather have the extra support as I approach the one year anniversary of my first loss.