So, I’m supposed to be putting together a Christmas list right now for The Husband. He is doing his shopping tonight and wants a list. As I’ve gotten older it’s been harder and harder for me to put together a list. We are at the point in our lives that if we want something (within reason) we go and get it! Which isn’t to say that we are shopaholics and buy stuff all the time, or that we spend spend spend, but we’re hardworking adults and we know our budgets and have saved money for those “rainy days” so to speak. Anyway, this year is especially hard for me to think of something. What I want nobody can give me.
Over the years I’ve become more and more disillusioned with the holiday. I remember the magic of being a child and believing in Santa, and that he came to my house! And the excitement and wonder on Christmas Eve. Anticipation. Now that I’m an adult, and an atheist at that, I don’t know why I bother. I can see why you would want to celebrate the holiday if you truly believe in the religious aspects of the holiday. But if you don’t, it’s just Thanksgiving with gifts. I just did all this a few weeks ago, now I have to do it again and I have to buy and wrap gifts too. For years I’ve been telling The Husband not to buy me anything for this very reason – I don’t believe and I don’t want gifts. But he never listens. I’d rather spend time with family for the sake of their company and good times, not because I feel like I have to. It makes me feel like a fraud.
We aren’t putting up a tree this year. Or decorating. Or sending out cards. I just don’t feel like it! Put up a tree, decorate, just to take it down. I’m not in the spirit this year. I’d rather just stay home and watch a TV DVD marathon all day. Perhaps Gilmore Girls? Maybe some Seinfeld or Felicity? Who knows!
Sorry for this grumpy post. I spent too much time this morning at the mall and at Target doing… you guessed it… Christmas shopping! For my coworkers. I have three direct reports so buy each of them a gift; and a gift for my boss; and a gift for N, my best girl at work.