You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch

So, I’m supposed to be putting together a Christmas list right now for The Husband. He is doing his shopping tonight and wants a list. As I’ve gotten older it’s been harder and harder for me to put together a list. We are at the point in our lives that if we want something (within reason) we go and get it! Which isn’t to say that we are shopaholics and buy stuff all the time, or that we spend spend spend, but we’re hardworking adults and we know our budgets and have saved money for those “rainy days” so to speak. Anyway, this year is especially hard for me to think of something. What I want nobody can give me.

Over the years I’ve become more and more disillusioned with the holiday. I remember the magic of being a child and believing in Santa, and that he came to my house! And the excitement and wonder on Christmas Eve. Anticipation. Now that I’m an adult, and an atheist at that, I don’t know why I bother. I can see why you would want to celebrate the holiday if you truly believe in the religious aspects of the holiday. But if you don’t, it’s just Thanksgiving with gifts. I just did all this a few weeks ago, now I have to do it again and I have to buy and wrap gifts too. For years I’ve been telling The Husband not to buy me anything for this very reason – I don’t believe and I don’t want gifts. But he never listens. I’d rather spend time with family for the sake of their company and good times, not because I feel like I have to. It makes me feel like a fraud.

We aren’t putting up a tree this year. Or decorating. Or sending out cards. I just don’t feel like it! Put up a tree, decorate, just to take it down. I’m not in the spirit this year. I’d rather just stay home and watch a TV DVD marathon all day. Perhaps Gilmore Girls? Maybe some Seinfeld or Felicity? Who knows!

Sorry for this grumpy post. I spent too much time this morning at the mall and at Target doing… you guessed it… Christmas shopping! For my coworkers. I have three direct reports so buy each of them a gift; and a gift for my boss; and a gift for N, my best girl at work.

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17 Responses to You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch

  1. I’m sorry. Christmas is so hard when no money can buy the only thing you want. I’m sure you husband is grieving, too. Maybe giving you gifts makes him a little happier?
    Last year I didn’t want any gifts either. In the end my husband bought me a precious ring to remember our girls. Way out of the usual budget, but beautiful and meaningful.
    Thinking of you.

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    • Thank you for your kind words. Yes, I think giving gifts does make him feel a little better, like he’s doing something special and trying to make me happy – today he said something to me like “I just think you need something to open this year.” He’s also going to make a special Christmas morning breakfast. 🙂 I hope you are doing well and that the holiday season isn’t too stressful for you!

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  2. I’m sorry you’re grumpy but in my view you’re entitled to take or leave any holiday as you wish. We all are. Last night I told my guy I only want one thing for the holidays. I want this little one to make it. And nobody can guarantee me that. Nothing else matters much to me at this point. Though I could use a new pair of tall boots I suppose. 😉

    Enjoy the DVD marathon and whatever else strikes your fancy this year!

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  3. I absolutely understand what you mean. Last year, I tried to boycott the entire season. It was so bad in fact that Mr. MPB called me Scrooge. In the end we did put up a tree, and 1 string of lights outside, but my heart was never in it and I felt like a fraud the entire time.
    I agree with Spirit Baby – you can opt out of any holiday you want. I vote for Gilmore Girls, but only because I’m currently at the start of season 2, and am working my way through all of them. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I absolutely adore the Gilmore Girls! In fact when The Husband and I first started dating I told him if I ever had a daughter I wanted to name her Lorelai. Oh, to be young and naive again! But I hope you enjoy all the seasons. Some of it can get tiresome but overall I really did enjoy it and catch myself watching the reruns on TV. 🙂

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      • Ha! I love both the names Rory and Lorelei and by an odd twist of fate, I now have one of each in my extended family. So those names are off the list. 🙂
        I’m actually trying to watch an episode right now but Netflix won’t cooperate. 😦

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  4. A Gilmore Girls marathon sounds like just the ticket. The holidays are tough. I feel similarly indifferent to Christmas this year, but for different reasons. It sounds like you are doing what feels right to you, which is awesome. Seriously, it is next to impossible to just do what you need to do for your mental health so way to go for knowing you don’t want a tree, to send cards, etc. We aren’t sending cards, either — last year we sent them a week before we lost L announcing that we were expecting shortly thereafter and it was torture because we then had even more people to tell.

    Hope you are feeling better and don’t need any more trips to the mall or Target!

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    • I wonder what life would be like without the pressure and stress of the holidays? Probably a lot more enjoyable overall!
      I am sorry you are feeling indifferent too. It really isn’t very fun. I am hoping that next year the holidays are much different for BOTH of us and our indifference is replaced with some joy. I am thinking of you and hoping everything is continuing to go well.

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  5. I agree, I hate getting or giving arbitrary Christmas presents. Most adults I buy for already have everything they need, so it just feels like I’m giving them stuff that will create clutter. I love the Gilmore Girls, so I think a marathon sounds just about perfect. I’m sending you comfort and peace as you navigate these next couple of weeks. You are almost through it!

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    • Thank you so much for your kind words! A TV marathon would be a dream come true, but I don’t think The Husband or my mother would take to kindly to that. Maybe a morning marathon will do the trick and relax me though 🙂 I hope you are doing well yourself – and that you’re able to keep the anxiety at bay. Easier said than done, I know.

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  6. calcandide says:

    I’m so sorry. Holidays are SO hard when something like this is happening. I remember the years before I met my husband and how my family made it clear that I was a second-class citizen because I was single, and I just wanted to go on vacation for Christmas and not see any of them. I was hoping that being married would make it better (and it does! I don’t feel so alone anymore), but infertility brings it all back again. It sucks for something that used to be so happy and cheerful to become sad.

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  7. Krystal says:

    I SUCK SO BAD. I just realized that your blog wasn’t showing up on my feed and I’m not sure why! So I readded your page, and now I’m just catching up. My husband and I were just talking about how gifts for the holidays kinda defeats the purpose of Christmas. I really thought this year we would escape Christmas stuff, since he is on shift on Christmas Day – but nope, that stuff always somehow creeps into your plans. Sending lots of love as the holidays approach – you are entitled to feel however you want about it, and I completely understand wanting to boycott the whole thing!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Pingback: Mele Kalikimaka | Sweeping Up the Broken Pieces

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