So I haven’t blogged in almost two weeks, and I think that’s the longest I’ve gone without a new post! I’ve been keeping up with the blogs I follow and commenting but I haven’t had much to say myself. Part of it is that there really isn’t anything “new.” I’m keeping up with acupuncture, in fact transitioning from weekly appointments to every other week. I’m going to the gym. I signed up for a weekly yoga class, starting this week and running for six weeks. I need to “re-register” every six weeks and it’s a lottery – so I might not get in again, but at least I am in for now. But as for baby making, we aren’t TTC right now because we still have to wait for a new cycle to start before trying again, when we are ready of course.
Aside from having nothing new to report, I’ve also been busy with work. I attended a conference in Wellesley on Wednesday. I’ve also had to put in some extra hours at night this past week. At least I get to do that from home though, and not from the office. We had a realignment to our broader Finance area a few months ago, and now my boss reports to a new Director. And it seems like he always seems to catch me in my office with my cell phone in hand while I’m in the middle of texting The Husband or changing a song (I have an iHome in my office and listen to songs on my phone during the day.) So that has really bothered me and I don’t want his impression of me to be someone who is playing on their cell phone all day. So now I always feel like I’m on high alert at my desk. It’s like he has radar for when I pick up my cell phone. And I’m really not on my cell phone all day, but the few times a day I pick it up someone always walks by. Sometimes I will go hours without looking at it.
My emotions haven’t been that bad. I’ve actually been feeling pretty good, but it also feels like what I imagine walking on a tightrope might feel like. I feel good but I also feel like I could lean a little one way or the other and I might come crashing down. Luckily I haven’t been leaning lately. I carry my grief and sadness with me but it isn’t at the forefront. I’m not obsessed with it. It’s sort of like a dull ache that is with me but it’s manageable. Right now at least. It doesn’t mean I LIKE seeing pregnant women, or LIKE seeing babies, or LIKE hearing pregnancy announcements. I don’t and I feel bitter about those things still but whereas those things would have made me cry and upset me for hours before, now I am able to process it and move on much quicker.
We are having our first snowfall of the season today. I really can’t believe it’s snowing so early in the season. I enjoy maybe one or two snowfalls – after that I am DONE! Yay for New England, our weather is so bipolar. I was wearing flip flops on Monday and now I need my snow boots. And I love going to Foxboro for Patriots games, but on days like today I am perfectly happy to watch from the warmth and comfort of my home – with my Gronk jersey on of course. My family has several season tickets (I think 10 altogether) and I really don’t envy any of them that are going today.
|“Fall” in New England… first snow of the season|
Last night I went to a fundraising benefit for a a local animal shelter/humane society. Seeing all of those animals without homes made me so very sad. I had to fight tears a few times. So many cats and dogs – dropped off because they were “Unwanted” or “Too active” or “Landlord issues.” So all of a sudden you don’t want your pet and get rid of it? That makes no sense to me. I don’t know how anyone could do that.
It was a good benefit – raffles, a silent auction, a band with music, catering. The food was great. I won a $30 gift certificate to a spa. I also sponsored a new dog bed package off of the giving tree – some of the dogs just looked so uncomfortable and sad in the kennel area and I wanted to help with that area. There were other items you could sponsor, but for me it was important to help a dog.
The benefit was at the shelter so we could walk around and see all of the animals. And there is a cat that I fell in love with and I want to adopt him! His name is O, he’s two years old and he was dropped off as “Unwanted.” Below is a picture of him. So I just am afraid of how this might change the dynamic with my current pets – we have a 5 year old female dog (L) and 5 year old female cat (L). They get along fine with each other – they aren’t best friends but will lay next to each other and sniff each other. The worst is when the cat wants to play and swats at the dog, and the dog gets upset. But they don’t fight. So I am worried about introducing another adult cat. I’ve done some research this morning on how to introduce new cats to each other, and I think we can manage. For the record, I am more concerned about the cat accepting him than the dog – I think the dog would be fine with a new cat. I am just worried that the cat might never accept O and I don’t want to adopt a cat and have to give him back if they fight and hurt each other. I think that would break my heart even more than never trying. This would also be our first male pet, which I’ve always wanted a male but The Husband talks me out of it. I think The Husband is about 90% on board with adopting O. He has more reservations than I do but has left it up to me. I am also concerned that maybe our house is too small – we have three bedrooms (our “master” bedroom, an office and a “spare”), 1 1/2 baths, but our house is a ranch and one floor. Our basement isn’t finished (yet) so there aren’t two separate floors where each cat could have it’s own space. So I am putting a lot of thought into this. I think maybe adopting a cat and saving this life might help me feel better about myself and our losses. And I know I have a lot of love to give and could give this boy a good home. But I know animals can be a lot of work and are a huge commitment so I want to be 100% sure.
|A big love bug, O|