12w 2d

Two new pregnancy announcements on my Facebook newsfeed tonight. 

One is M’s cousin, who was pregnant the same time I was earlier this year and lost her baby about a month before I did.  She has a 7 or 8 year old daughter. The second is a “friendly acquaintance” who had an ectopic pregnancy last fall. She has a 6 year old son and a 2 year old daughter.

Both of these women experienced loss and now are proudly putting up ultrasound photos/gender announcements tonight. M’s cousin put up an ultrasound picture saying “Baby C arriving March 2015” (evidently she is 3 days ahead of me) and I just wanted to say…. “Don’t count your chickens….” But I would never really say that to someone. 

Part of me is afraid that not all three of us can have healthy babies. Last time there was one “friend” who had a due date the day before mine, another (The Husband’s friends whose son was born last week) about a month after mine, then M’s cousin about two months after mine (the one mentioned above who ended up losing her baby to miscarriage a lot earlier than I did). An old teammate from high school who is due any time now. And not all of us had our baby after announcing it. I am so afraid it is going to be me again. I don’t want to wish this on anyone else… but I don’t want this to happen to me again. And I feel like we can’t all have our babies; that it IS going to happen to one of us.

Time to just delete my Facebook (again!)

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One Response to 12w 2d

  1. Can I just say that I deleted my FB account in January when we lost L and I haven't missed it at all? I hear from people I want to keep up with and otherwise am enjoying the “anonymity” of not having acquaintances know what I am up to. And I don't have to see all the pregnancy and birth announcements. Go for it!


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