Easter recap

Today we hosted Easter lunch at our house. We had a turkey breast, ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, carrots, cranberry sauce, pineapple, rolls, gravy – altogether too much food. And cake for dessert. I should look back on today when I wonder why I can’t lose the five pounds I gained while pregnant. Admittedly I didn’t do it all on my own – my mother cooked the ham and green bean casserole and brought it over. My grandmother made the stuffing and cake. So yeah, I don’t know why we needed this much food for five people but we have plenty of leftovers so I shouldn’t need to cook for the next few days. And other people were able to bring home plates of food too. It was a pretty good afternoon. The weather was nice, the food was good, everyone seemed happy except my husband but that’s another story.

 
I also had time to get in a run before I had to start cooking and cleaning. Started week 7 of Couch to 5k. It felt good to do that this morning. The weather was perfect, so I decided I might as well get as much time in as I can outdoors because when it starts getting warmer, and humid, I am not going to want to be running outdoors. I don’t do well exercising outdoors once it gets too hot. So today was perfect. My freckles even started to show today because of the sunlight.
 
My cat seems to be fine, thank goodness. I have been watching her closely for odd behaviors. She hasn’t been sick at all, no vomiting. She hasn’t been listless. She’s eating because her food dish keeps getting low throughout the day. She seems like herself. So I hope this means she didn’t ingest any pollen. I will continue to keep an eye on her the next few days. I don’t know if I could handle losing one of my pets after what happened a few months ago. 
 
As for my husband, we had a disagreement last night. We haven’t been arguing but we don’t have much to say to each other today and when we do talk it is strained. I know I haven’t been the best wife lately and I do feel bad and guilty. I feel bad that I can’t give him what he needs physically or emotionally. Some days it takes all I have to make it through the workday without screaming. And when I come home I am spent and I don’t  feel like doing much. I have been avoiding going out with our friends or evens sometimes going out in general. I feel safe in our house where there are no “unknowns”. 
 
Here’s to another week. I still haven’t started my period. This Wednesday will be 8 weeks since my procedure and I am to call my doctor this week if I don’t get my period. I don’t know what will happen then. I am just worried something is wrong with me. What if I’m not ovulating? What if my body still thinks it’s pregnant? What if there is some sort of damage from the procedure? I don’t know the likelihood of any of those scenarios and I am trying not to Google it too much because I don’t want to make myself sick, but those are the types of questions running through my mind. This is just another setback and who knows how long it will take to “fix” this or determine what it even is! I can’t even start trying again until this is fixed. Two cycles my doctor said. Here I am two months later and I haven’t even had one! This is so frustrating. I spent all of my late teens and twenties trying NOT to get pregnant. Why did I think it was even that easy to get pregnant? Why don’t they teach you about THIS kind of crap in high school sex ed or health class? 
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